段子

牛公

搞笑段子中国人的打法
+ G! }" X9 r1 j      孙中山在英国时，跟《泰晤士报》的一个记者交往甚密。
( }3 w4 ]& ]# F  a. u  {4 s      一天，这个记者约孙中山打网球，一不小心，把球打在孙中山的前额上，他却说：“这是英国人的打法。”
2 E" ?" L! v" u1 A! K      孙中山忍痛跟上前，抱住记者，用巴掌使劲地打他的屁股，并笑着说：“这是中国人的打法。”
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英明决定
: Y$ ]; v, E: A3 \. x% Y      那天，学生去教室听市场营销讲座。
      教授问：“要是自动取款机多付给你们50元，该怎么做？”   
      一些学生回答说：“会还给出纳。”只有一个学生说：“会留下这些钱。”大家听了不以为然。教授最后说：“要是我，我会再试试取款机。”
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互相好奇
     “喂，你的手是怎么回事？”
9 w2 [7 A% U! v     “我把手伸到猪嘴里，想摸摸它有几颗牙。”
! C& |* b9 ~, q9 F% t9 p; }% @& d: t     “后来呢？”
     “它合上嘴，想弄清楚我有几根指头。”


    One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can"t do it because he"s her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad"s been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can"t marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"

% |% I, B% L: k, n+ m+ F2 X  U    Her mom replies, "Don"t worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn"t really your dad."

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